I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
♩God is so good and faithful. He has brought the most caring, loving and faithful people around us during the toughest time. I am so grateful. I’m going to publicly honour one of them a day this week thanks to a post one of my mamas made today.
♩Focusing on what He IS doing and IS providing and being grateful, honouring, and thankful is key. Keeping your eyes on Jesus when things look difficult brings our eyes UP to look in the beautiful face of Jesus instead of down on our problems.
♩It always amazes me to see how He works behind the scenes bringing help in ways you weren’t even expecting. Sometimes I think “well why don’t you just do it this way? Wouldn’t that be easier?” when He thinks in a completely different way and says “Yes, I could but if I do it this way instead then this and this will happen…”
♩Balancing being authentic and keeping it real and walking in faith has been an interesting journey full of learning and good fruit. Yes, things are tough right now but wow, I woke up to breathe a new breath and live another day. Praise the Lord!!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
♩God has been impressing this scripture upon me lately. I pray it brings you HOPE as well today:
Isaiah 55:8-9 – “”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’
♩How have you been challenged to be grateful and thankful in the midst of trouble? Do you look to God for help and how has He pulled through for you in the past? Do you trust that God’s ways and thoughts are always for the best out of His immense love for you? I would love to hear your testimonies friends!! Have an amazing day looking to the heavens! 🧡✨👇🏻
I don’t know what I would have done without that pill last night. 💊
⦶ I was actually too afraid to take one for the longest time. That’s the nature of the beast I guess. Anxiety seems to put you in hyper-vigilance mode and even the things meant to help you can seem like the enemy.
⦶ Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t an either-or sitch. When I’ve called out to God He has helped in some way. Even in the midst of this last panic attack I could sense His presence. Sometimes He’s seemingly absent so it’s simply by faith that I know He’s there. Then there’s times, the best of times, when He’s so spiritually tangible I can almost feel Him. Last night I sensed Him in the form of my son’s powerful prayers and the calming presence of my husband. Regardless, He never leaves us. There’s a comfort in that even when going through the deepest, darkest trials.
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
— Hebrews 13:5
⦶ Have you ever felt you weren’t going to make it?
Me at 1:00 am — “I need an ambulance!! Stat!! I’m having a heart attack!!!”
⦶ There’s been times when I’ve been ill and after crying out to God my symptoms suddenly disappear and peace comes upon me—this is the power and love of my God. He’s truly good! Do you know Him?
⦶ I wish it was always that way, that easy, but it’s not. I mean, He remains good but symptoms don’t always just disappear at the drop of a hat, in fact, more often than not they persist! My prayers and the prayers of others don’t always bring immediate healing and unicorns and rainbows. And last night was one of those times. I thought I was going to die.
⦶ Panic attacks are one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. I’ve landed in the ER with electrodes hooked up to me because of them. I’ve suffered in silence for decades. They’re literally the worst. They’re like nonsensical terrorists of the mind and body that attack when you’re least expecting it. They especially don’t make sense when they wake you from peaceful slumber and leave you physically unable to breath or function properly. This seems to happen more when you’re subconsciously overwhelmed. In the quiet time, when you’re asleep, the body, brain and mind have time to catch up to one another. And then BAM. There it goes..
Sense of impending doom or danger
Fear of loss of control or death
Rapid, pounding heart rate
Trembling or shaking
Shortness of breath or tightness in your throat
Dizziness, lightheadedness or faintness
Numbness or tingling sensation
Feeling of unreality or detachment
⦶ My worst symptom is the racing, pounding heart rate with a hint of thoughts of impending doom—a mental health cocktail mix I hate to the core. So what’s up?
⦶ This has definitely been a year for feeling overwhelmed. First with COVID, lockdowns, separation from friends and family, and then for some of us loss or gain of work, other life transitions, and illness. All of these can just catch up to a person, like me, and come out in the quiet times. Pair that with the fact that feeling easily overwhelmed seems to go hand in hand with anxiety and you have a cycle that needs to be broken. Let me just say there’s NO condemnation in this. Here me again if you suffer like me. There’s. No. Condemnation. We are all doing the best we can with what we have and sometimes our brains and bodies are just plain old exhausted and/or lacking a balance of necessary chemicals. Don’t suffer in silence. Tell someone. Get help. And don’t add to the stigma.
There’s. No. Condemnation.
⦶ I haven’t always been able to keep it real in the past. Or so I thought. In my last season, being in formal Christian ministry in the charismatic church was a great honour and blessing but also difficult in many ways.
⦶ Could I really be me? I mean, what would people think if they knew one of their supposedly fearless leaders that believed God healed and even prayed for others and saw them healed, had to still take some psychiatric meds to keep sane? Simply put, whether by my own doing or the unspoken one that comes with the territory, it was a battle I couldn’t do anymore. Be real. Be open. Be you. There’s more power in authenticity then there is in hiding and that’s when real help and real ministry can happen.
⦶ God can work through really difficult situations. I’ve seen it time and time again making me think of that scripture about His ways and thoughts being different than ours. Now THAT’S so the truth, isn’t it?
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
—Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV
⦶ Last night I had been in research mode. With an upcoming rush hysterectomy in a week and half, I don’t feel prepared for it. To be honest, I don’t feel prepared for the trip, for the COVID risks, for the surgery, for the meds, for the downtime, for the possible complications, for homeschooling afterwards, for the results of my pathology, for anything. I tried to keep away from the support groups that really just freak a person out more than anything (which was a good choice but not completely helpful). After putting the research away and nodding off into dreamland it still happened. My heart kicked into a 200 bpm nightmare jolting me out of bed and down the stairs to some sort of relief that didn’t exist. Reality began to disappear before me. My limbs went numb and I began to shake and lose control. The storm was upon me again. I was definitely overwhelmed.
Have your felt overwhelmed this past year? You’re not alone! Take a time out. Rest. Read. Get off social media. Exercise. Laugh. Play. Pray. Breathe deep. Take care of you.
How to Get Out of a Panic Attack:
⦶ You can find lots of techniques and theories for getting rid of panic attacks on the internet so I won’t repeat them all here. But these are honestly the only ones that have helped me personally over the decades. None are foolproof and sometimes you have to try and try again, mix and match, and press on. NOTE: the key is to ask your Doctor first. I am NOT a medical professional, this is just what I do or have done in the past.
Take a fast-acting anti-anxiety med like Lorazepam (be cautious – ask your doctor first and don’t take if you are prone to addictions)
Take antidepressants (longer term solution)
Move. Run. Walk. Pace.
Take a deep breath or 2 or 200 in cold fresh air
Pray and have others pray for you
Splash cold water on your face
Bear down (can help with racing heart)
Eat some protein and have a drink of juice
Get a distraction – tv, movie, have another person talk to you
Touch something. Hard.
Do deep breathing – inhale slow, hold, exhale slow
See your doctor and/or therapist
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
⦶ Do you suffer from panic attacks? What has helped you? Will you try any of the above pointers? I’m rooting for you in this strange time of life and would love to keep you in my prayers. Send me a message or comment below! If you’re suffering please seek professional help. I’m here with you giving you a virtual hug tonight. We’ve got this!! He’s got us!!
◦ What do you hide behind it? Pain, fear, anger, jealousy, trauma, illness, sadness…? Are you authentic with those around you? Selah.
◦ I was taught to hide. To not say certain things or it could bring them on. Or maybe it would reveal I had no faith. In my mind, that was the kiss of death in ministry.
◦ I have more joy and strength of the Lord now just being me. I mean I’m still on a journey. Being authentic and transparent is a way to share both the good and the bad with those who may just need what you have to say. Your trial may be what showcases the glory of God more than any lying could have done.
◦ You don’t control the universe, He does. He is sovereign. You don’t need to sell His goodness like the world won’t believe it unless you’re fake. His goodness ABOUNDS y’all!!! It’s all around us through all the craziness we see on the surface.
◦ There’s a bridge to healing called truth. Walk it. Own it. Live it. Take the mask off and be you. God loves YOU. Not the fake you that you thought you had to portray to others.
◦ I’m gonna fly my freak flag high folks and hope you come to know the REAL me and that ya, this trial I’m going through sucks, and it’s real, and it’s raw, and it’s scary. Getting the word “cancer” thrown on you is NOT something I wish for anyone.
◦ Do you hide the real you behind a smile? What have trials taught you? Have you come to lean on God even more through them? Comment below! I’d love to hear any encouragement, wisdom, and your experiences!